41. George W. Bush Geography Simplification Initiative
Every country in the world will have exactly one town in it, except for the country you start out in, which will have three.
Does it work in all RPG’s. Yup it may be cliche but it is so uncommon now.
42. Fodor’s Guide Rule
In the course of your adventure you will visit one desert city, one port town, one mining town, one casino city, one magic city (usually flying), one medieval castle kingdom, one clockwork city, one martial arts-based community, one thieves’ slum, one lost city and one sci-fi utopia. On the way you’ll also get a chance to see the cave with rocks that glow from a natural energy source, the village populated with nonhuman characters, the peaceful village where everyone knows the latest news about the hero’s quest (see Guy in the Street Rule), the snow village, the magical forest/lake/mountain, the shop in the middle of nowhere, the fantastic-looking place with lots of FMVs just showing your entrance, the subtropical jungle island populated by friendly natives, the annoying cavern maze, and a place — any place — that was destroyed in some past disaster.
There’s what you call one of every kind.
43. Midgar Principle
The capital of the evil empire is always divided into two sections: a lower city slum filled with slaves and supporters of the rebellion, and an upper city filled with loyal fanatics and corrupt aristocrats.
Not always. In FFXII the good empire of Dalmasca has the city streets and the slums too.
44. Not Invented Here
Trade of technology will not exist. One place in the world will have all the techno-gadgets while all the others will be harvesting dirt.
It’s not realistic because it’s just an RPG.
45. Law of Cartographical Elegance
The world map always cleanly fits into a rectangular shape with no land masses that cross an edge.
So the world is flat?
46. ¿Quien Es Mas Macho? (Fargo Rule)
Every powerful character you attempt to seek aid from will first insist upon “testing your strength” in a battle to the death.
Unless he’s dumb enough not to fight.
47. We Had To Destroy The Village In Order To, Well, You Know The Rest (Selene Rule)
No matter what happens, never call on the government, the church, or any other massive controlling authority for help. They’ll just send a brigade of soldiers to burn your entire village to the ground.
As if they don’t care anyway.
48. Zidane’s Curse (or, Dirty Pair Rule)
An unlucky condition in which every major city in the game will coincidentally wind up being destroyed just after the hero arrives.
It’s something of the curse.
49. Maginot Line Rule
It is easy to tell which city/nation is the next conquest of the Evil Empire: its streets are filled with citizens who brag that the Empire would never dare attack them, and would be easily defeated if it tried. (This smug nationalism always fails to take into account the Empire’s new superweapon.)
They’re dumb simply.
50. Short Attention Span Principle
All bookshelves contain exactly one book, which only has enough text on it to fill up half a page.
It only has a part of a page of a particular book in that shelf.
51. Planet of the Apes Rule
All cities and countries have ancestors that were wiped out by their technological advances.
For humanity has made chaos by bringing up weapons of mass destruction to themselves.
52. Insomnia Rule
A “free stay at the inn” is never really free. Expect to be woken up in the middle of the night for a mandatory plot event.
That’s why save crystals are much better.
53. The Bling-Bling Thing (Lemina Rule)
No matter how much money and treasure you acquire, the greedy member of your party will never be satisfied and won’t stop griping about the sorry state of the party’s finances.
Yo think I aint complainin
54. I Don’t Like Gears Or Fighting
There are always giant robots. Always.
Why?
55. Houdini’s Postulate
Anyone, whether they are in the player’s party or not, who is placed in any kind of prison, fortress, cell, or detention block will escape immediately. Party members will be freed either by a small child they just happened to befriend earlier in the day or by an unexpected disaster that overcomes the enemy base, NPCs will be freed by the released party members, and villains will break out all by themselves because they’re such badasses. Once a person has escaped from jail, no attempt will be made by the police to recapture them in the future.
The police easily gives up.
56. Zeigfried’s Contradiction
Just because someone is weird doesn’t mean they’re important.
Unless it’s not really that important.
57. Natural Monopoly Rule
No city will have more than two shops, unless it is crucial to the story that there be a hundred vendors which you must visit in order (see You Always Travel In The Right Circles.) All of these shops will sell the same goods for the same price.
There’s the discount system usually 10% – 30% and FFXII has gambit shops, weaponry, armory, magic shops, technique shops and item shops in a big city.
58. But They Don’t Take American Express
Every merchant in the world — even those living in far-off villages or hidden floating cities cut off from the outside world for centuries, even those who speak different languages or are of an entirely different species — accepts the same currency.
They just have a fixed currency for all.
59. Apathy Principle
Your group is the only bunch of people trying to save the world. All other would-be heroes will either join your party or else turn out to be cowards and/or con men.
Because some guys are gays and they really think that the group is so strong which they couldn’t outmatch.
60. The Good, The Bad, And The Ugly Rule
a. Any male character who is ugly, malformed, or misshapen is either evil or so moral, spiritual, and/or wise that it’s a wonder no one’s proposed him for sainthood yet.
b. Any male character who has a physical disfiguration that doesn’t seem to impede him (i.e. a prominent scar across the face or a bad eye) is evil, unless he is the male lead, since scars are cool and no other good guy can be as cool as the hero. An exception is made for characters who are clearly ancient, and therefore automatically not as cool as the young hero.
c. Any female character who is ugly, malformed, mishapen, or physically disfigured is evil, since all good female characters are there to be potentially seduced by the male lead — see Know Your Audience.
Most instances although it can be in some forms not there listed.
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